Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.”
Matthew 5:9
It is incredibly easy to want to become angry, to want to fight back, and to want revenge when someone has wronged us. When we feel wronged, we take things personally, we are afronted and need to stand up for ourselves. It is in our human nature.
One of the most wonderful feelings in the world is when you allow the Holy Spirit to fill you with forgiveness and peace. It is much harder to be at peace rather than to rebel, but, as stated in this beatitude, it is what God and Jesus call for us to do.
A few years ago, I found out that someone who I had defended for years, spoken kind words about, and believed to be a good person was speaking poorly about me to others who I loved. This escalated to the point where it drove a wedge between several people who I love and care very much about. While I could just sit by the side and second hand hear the things that were being said about me, I went to church and asked God for peace, for patience, for guidance, and to help lead me through the fog of misunderstanding to a place where my heart wouldn’t be so heavy with hurt.
And what I found was that my heart found peace. I found a support system through God that lifted me up to a place where I could continue through life, looking inward and working on myself. Since that incident, I try to keep in mind the idea of looking inward and upward when I am in conflict and finding my peace through God.
In today’s social media world, it is quick and easy to rebel. It is easy to see something online that can be hurtful. Sometimes it isn’t even the intention of the person posting. Our children, especially those old enough to be on social media, may be quick to retaliate without thinking. Whole Twitter wars are started over small things.
It is amazing how God brings a message to us right when we need it.
A few days ago I posted a photo on the blog’s Instagram page of my daughter and I at the aquarium. Though you cannot tell other than I said it in the comment, I am nursing her as she is looking at a turtle. The next day I opened Instagram to a comment saying, “Gross. You look like a whale who belongs in an aquarium.”
My husband, after seeing me blubbering and pointing at my phone, immediately deleted it, stating that, “If they don’t have anything nice to say, then they don’t deserve to see your page.”
I spent the day thinking about the photo and what the troll had said. I was hurt, my pride was damaged, and I was pained thinking that this troll probably said something like that to others as well. I spent the day looking to God for guidance on how to respond.
That afternoon, I posted a response on Instagram and Facebook. I responded with reaffirmation of myself, my abilities, and love for other moms who struggle with motherhood. I responded with support for mamas who are looking for it, who may deal with trolls in their lives, not just on social media. I could have just written back to the troll something equally negative. I could have brought myself down to their level called them names. I could have also sat in negativity, allowing the troll’s words to continue to bring me down.
Instead, God guided me to reaffirm my support for the parenting community and for other mamas. I felt peace in what I wrote and felt it was important state that I am stronger than one comment. I refused to engage the troll a conflict.
Discuss with your kids
When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsename, He expected them. He knew that His friend had betrayed Him. Instead of rebelling or becoming upset, He healed. He remained calm and composed, seeking peace through God.
All they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.”
Matthew 26:52
Jesus’s disciples were angry on behalf of Jesus that one of their own had betrayed him. One of them rebelled and raised a sword at one of the soldiers and cut off his ear. Jesus healed the soldier and scolded His disciple with that saying that those who live by the sword shall die by the sword. This is a warning that those who insist on living with anger and revenge will continually be hurt.
What happens when someone hurts our feelings? How do we react when we are hurt? Sometimes people who we trust do things that hurt our feelings. God asks us to seek peace and forgiveness rather than to lash out and hurt that person or others.
When we are hurt by someone else, and we want to be filled with peace, we can pray and ask God for help and for peace. His peace can calm our troubled hearts. It can feel like a breath of fresh air or a ray of warm sunshine after a rainy day.
Questions to ask
- How do you feel when someone you love or trust has hurt your feelings?
- Why do you think Jesus healed the soldier instead of trying to fight for His freedom?
- What does God’s love feel like to you?
- How does it feel when you forgive someone? Does it change how you feel if they don’t accept your forgiveness?
- Where do you go to feel God’s love? Where do you go to feel at peace?
Activities for those who wish to be peacemakers
- Find a place where you can feel at peace and talk to and feel God. For some, this may be church. For others, maybe it is a park or a place by a calm lake. Others it may be a mountain or a beach. Wherever you find peace, go there to experience God and renew your soul.
- When you feel angry or betrayed, take a few minutes to step back and take deep breaths before acting or speaking. It is much easier to react immediately and to “raise the sword”, but Jesus asks us to be peacemakers and to not cast stones without looking inward first.
- Spend some time clearing the air internally. Think about past hurts that you may still be feeling that are bringing you down and forgive them. Sometimes the mental forgiveness of the wrong is just a healing as forgiving someone in person.
- Ensure your children have time to have quiet reflection and thinking. Little Mister will sit and play quietly with his train set and I can sit nearby. I’m there if he needs me, but he has a chance to find inner peace and focus on one thing rather than a million activities (something we all tend to do with our children).
- For older children who may have social media, spend some time talking with them about reactions on social media or how things that are posted may make them feel. How can they react when something on social media hurts their feelings? What things can they do to make sure they don’t hurt others on social media?
It is hard to find peace in a world of turmoil. It is hard to forgive when your heart is hurting. It is hard to not react, not retaliate, not respond immediately, but rather to think, to find peace, and to find God’s love. If we work on demonstrating to our children that thoughtful reactions filled with peace and love are better than immediately responses filled with vitriol and hurt, we may be able to make this world a better place. As we continue towards Easter, sometimes it is helpful to keep in mind Jesus’s ultimate destination of forgiveness for all of us.