A story keeps creeping up in my life. It’s the story of Mary and Martha when Jesus came to visit. The story in Luke 10 describes a scene where Jesus and His followers come to the home of the sisters, Mary and Martha. Martha spends time cleaning, cooking, and trying to make the house ready for Jesus while Mary sits at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him preach.
When Martha asks Jesus to tell Mary to help, He rebukes her, telling her that Mary has chosen the better path.
Every time I hear or read this story, I cringe. I understand the message – enjoy the moment as it is often fleeting and will not be around forever. But every time I think about my own personal experiences and know that, more often than not, I am the Martha.
And it makes me wonder – did Martha want to be Martha or did she want to be Mary?
I’ve always believed that if Mary had just helped Martha before Jesus arrived, then they could have both enjoyed Jesus’s visit.
So often in life, preparations for activities and parties bleed over into the actual event. No matter how hard I try to start early and be ready at the time of the party start, I’m always finishing a few last minute details.
So what would have happened if Mary had helped Martha?
Other than the obvious that the exchange between Martha and Jesus would not have happened. We would have lost a lesson about living in the moment, appreciating the time we have with each other, and remembering the little moments.
There are so many times as a parent that I stop, look at my babies, and realize how fleeting time is. There is the old saying that the days are long but the years are short.
How often do we spend preparing for the next challenge in our lives? How often are we looking forward to the next milestone – checking charts and lists, reading parenting books, trying to get ahead of our children’s development?
Take away the idea of cooking and cleaning and the literal acts that Martha was doing trying to prepare her house for Jesus. In the real world, we have to cook and clean and ensure a level of safety and cleanliness for our children. But what if we took a second to step back from the baby books? What if we took a step back from comparing where our children are in their milestones compared to the next baby?
Instead of doing work around the house, I spend my children’s naptimes right next to them. We all hunker down in bed together and I watch them sleep. Sometimes I read, sometimes I watch a little TV, but I take moments to look at them, to play with their hair, and to snuggle.
We may have had the worst morning, tantrums or maybe Little Mister had a difficult time listening and kept wandering, we lay down for naptime and they become complete angels. It’s in that moment that my heart bursts and all of the problems we faced that morning seem to melt away.
How often do we spend preparing for the next challenge in our lives? How often are we looking forward to the next milestone – checking charts and lists, reading parenting books, trying to get ahead of our children’s development?
So how do we get to have these chances while still trying to run the world? How do we get to have moments while we still have the chance to have them? How do we cook, clean, have jobs, and still have those moments with your family?
Why do we, as mothers and parents, have a hard time asking for help? Why are we insistent that we are the only ones who are able to do something like loading a dishwasher correctly?
I will admit, I’m guilty of this. I’ll be insistent that I’m the only one who can fold laundry the right way or that dust bunnies are forgotten if anyone but me vacuums.
But the truth is that my husband can help vacuum, too. The truth is that, though I may be particular about how the laundry is folded, my husband and kids may be able to help me sort or put away clothes. The truth is that if I’m willing to ask for help, if I’m willing to put my trust in someone else and just ask them for help, we can all enjoy the moments.
We don’t need to do it all on our own. We don’t need to complain to others when our significant others aren’t helping. We just need to take a step back from our pride and ask them for help when we need it.
I like to believe that Martha wanted to be with Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus. Maybe her pride got in the way and she never asked Mary for help before Jesus arrived. Maybe she, as sisters tend to be, felt a sense of competition.
Whatever the case, enjoy the moments with your children and family. Ask for help so that you don’t have to do it all alone. Work can be done faster together. Mary and Martha both had the chance to spend time with Jesus. Don’t allow pride to get in the way of the moment. The days are long but the years are short.