I remember, when I was a little girl, some of my deepest, most thoughtful questions came at night when my mom was playing with my hair, trying to get me to fall asleep.
I would lay there with my eyes closed, thinking about a question that had been on my mind all day, and after a few minutes of her playing with my hair, I would ask whatever was on my mind.
There was one question in particular that I asked one night that continues to make me think and wonder as an adult…
If Jesus died for our sins and God loves everyone, does this include the people who do bad things? Do they get to go to Heaven?
As an adult and a God-fearing woman, I can generally answer that yes, those who accept Jesus as their savior and earnestly believe in God and His love for us, yes, they go to Heaven.
Of course there are caveats to this because God knows what is truly in our hearts.
This question, however, makes me wonder about how our children both love and fear God. Do they wonder if He loves them no matter what? Do they worry that they will be punished if they do something wrong?
I have a friend who has a son who used to define people by either “Old Testament” or “New Testament.” Old Testament people weren’t usually as nice, maybe a little stern, and usually were the disciplinarions. The New Testament people were the fun ones. They were loving and playful – the fun guy. Much to my dismay, according to our friend’s son, I was Old Testament and my husband was New Testament.
I like to think of it as God from the New Testament is like the type of men who are stern, focused, maybe a little harsh because they are dedicated towards certain goals and then they have children. When they have children, their entire world changes and they become softer, more accepting and more loving.
God had Jesus, sacrificed His son so that we could be saved. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
So often our children may fear “Old Testament” God when they do something wrong. They will wonder if something like a plague or a flood will come down and punish them.
To be fair, though the stories of the Old Testament can be entertaining and make for a great Val Kilmer blockbuster or an entertaining VBS theme, they can also be quite terrifying. The idea of a first born son being killed can be particularly sensitive when you are the first born son!
Because of this punishing Old Testament God, it can sometimes be hard to remember the loving God of the New Testament, particularly when you are feeling guilty.
So, do Jesus and God love us no matter what?
Yes! Our children will have moments where they make mistakes or when they’ve disappointed us. We will have moments of discipline because we are parents. But this doesn’t change our unending love for them. When we are done disciplining, we will still wrap them in a hug and tell them how much we love them.
Just as we hold our children and reaffirm our love, we need to reaffirm God’s and Jesus’s love for them. We need to reassure our children that they can go to God with all their troubles and their worries. That by seeking God with the worries on their hearts, they are trusting Him and His plan for them.
God loves them no matter what they do, who they are friends with, what food they eat (or don’t). He loves them no matter what they wear, what color their hair is, or if they’re good singers.
God loves us all. We know this because He gave us Jesus.
I can’t remember if I had done something that I was worried I wouldn’t get to go to Heaven. Maybe I had and that’s why I asked the question I did. Maybe it had been on my mind because of guilt.
But our children will worry. Our children will have times where they do wrong, and they worry that God won’t love them. It is our job to hold them, reaffirm God’s love as well as our own, and allow our children to rest their worry on our shoulders, so that they can continue to live lives without fear of retribution.
Little ones will make mistakes, that’s part of the learning process. They will figure out right from wrong. They will develop a sense of guilt. They will understand that there are things that God wishes we wouldn’t do. But as a child, they are still learning, still developing. In the end, all they need to be sure of is God’s love for them.
Besides, there will be plenty of time to put the fear of God into them when they’re teenagers.