I knew I wanted to write on this topic for this year’s Independence Day. I also knew that I didn’t want to get too political. I thought it was important, though, with how divided our country seems to have become.
I often read on Facebook that parents are afraid. They’re afraid to send their kids to school. They’re afraid to let their kids go to public places. They’re angry with one thing or another that is happening in our country. No matter what side you are on, there seems to be something to be angry about. On top of all of this, often times social media will create a wind tunnel of similar beliefs to our own, never allowing us to hear a differing opinion. Sometimes I even see people make posts stating that if someone disagrees with them, they might as well just unfriend them.
Don’t get me wrong – I have strong opinions about some things. I have moments where I am afraid for my children’s lives. I have moments where I question today’s society for some reason or another. I am not immune to these things.
But instead, I want to tell a story from when I was little – when I was 13 years old to be exact. And how I use this memory to influence how I want to raise my children in today’s America.
When I had previously thought that America was a model…and loved by many, I suddenly realized there were people who…hated us. Hated our way of being. Hated our beliefs. Hated the freedoms we give our citizens.
I was 13 years old in late August 2002. A little less than year prior my entire world – as well as the world of all Americans – was completely rocked. A world that I thought was safe and secure – where just the summer prior my dad had taken a large hunting knife in his carry on when we were flying home from a trip to Montana – was suddenly filled with fear and hate. When I had previously thought that America was a model for other countries and loved by many, I suddenly realized there were people who didn’t just dislike us, but hated us. Hated our way of being. Hated our beliefs. Hated the freedoms we give our citizens.
Like many, the days that followed September 11, 2001, were filled with uncertainty. I remember spending time at church, praying for the families waiting to hear from loved ones. I remember crying over those who were on the planes. And then I remember days of intense patriotism. I remember making sure my dad’s car had multiple flags flying from the windows. I remember listening to Toby Keith songs on repeat for the patriotic message. I felt empowered to be an American.
A year later, late August 2002, a group of my friends started an idea. They believed that – instead of wearing red, white, and blue on the year anniversary – we should all wear black to mourn the lives that were lost.
One day at lunch, I mentioned our plan to my dad. He very calmly asked me why I thought that was a better choice than to wear red, white, and blue. He didn’t immediately chastise me. He didn’t say I was wrong or stupid. He just asked me why. I had some vague explanation that, quite honestly, I don’t even remember anymore. He listened to me, though. He listened to my opinion. And then he went on to tell me his opinion and why he thought I should wear red, white, and blue.
Needless to say, I wore red, white, and blue. It wasn’t just that I admire my dad and, as a self-proclaimed daddy’s girl, want to make him happy. He also just had better reasoning.
We have the chance to change all of that as we raise our kids. Our children have the chance to make our world a better place than we are making it right now.
Imagine if we all took the time to just sit down and listen to each other.
Imagine if we took the time to open our minds to the other side.
Imagine if we stopped feeling the need to shove our opinion in people’s faces, and instead, took the time to stop talking and assuming what other people may believe and actually hear what they believe.
In days when news is constant, stories are published before they are vetted and confirmed, and everyone has a separate social issue or cause they want to fight for (and none are as important as their issue), this sense of conversation and open-mindedness is lost. People rush to judgments or assumptions just based on one particular identifying characteristic.
We have the chance to change all of that as we raise our kids. We have a chance to listen to them and their opinions and to validate their feelings. Our children have the chance to make our world a better place than we are making it right now.
Today’s America is filled with anger and hate. It’s filled with mischaracterizations of all kinds of people. It’s filled with split judgments posted on social media. If we continue to raise our children in this way, nothing will change. If we continue to demonstrate to our children the demonization of Americans, then what will be left for them to want? What else will they know except the hate that so many Americans – of all backgrounds and beliefs – show towards others?
If we continue to raise our children in today’s America, if we continue to demonstrate such closed-mindedness, what America will be left? What freedoms will we have left to fight for if all of our freedoms are said to be wrong by one person or another?