Dear Little Miss,
I’m often told from your Nonna about how, when I was a toddler, I was incredibly independent. I would often say, “My do it,” and be determined to do whatever the action was on my own. I’m sure it got frustrating, especially because I’m sure I didn’t always complete whatever task was at hand on the first time.
As an adult, I still often want to just do things on my own. I’ll be determined to do something, even if getting just a little bit of help might help. It’s always “My do it!” And that’s just how it is. That’s how I am. Your daddy and our family knows this, so they adjust how they do things and we are all happy campers.
Now I have you. Your big brother will often ask for help – help getting toys down, help getting shoes on, whatever the case may be. You, on the other hand, are just like me. “My do it.”
Part of it is that you see that your big brother can do things, so you want to do them, too. Another part of it is that you are, inevitably, just like me.
Some will see your determination and smile, point at it and create the connection between our personalities. Some will get frustrated that you won’t let them help you. But I, on the other hand, love your independence.
I love that you are just like me.
Life with this strong, independent streak isn’t always easy. There are so many times when I should’ve asked for help and ended up learning a lesson that I would’ve avoided had I just looked to someone else for assistance.
Your little screeches when you feel you could’ve done something on your own and we’ve taken away that opportunity remind me that you are capable, even at the young age of 18 months. You have the ability to do so many wonderful things – things that sometimes may scare me, make me anxious, or make me just want to hold you hand.
But you won’t always want to hold my hand. You’ll want to push the boundaries, just as I did. You’ll want to run ahead, just as I did. You’ll want to do it yourself, just as I did.
Sometimes I’m not sure what is more frightening – not knowing the type of person you’re growing up to be or knowing exactly how strong you’ll be that you’ll not need me sooner than I wish.
But then I think about myself. I still need my momma. I call her everyday, we talk often, and she often advises me. I may not always listen to her, but she is my guiding force, even as I do it myself.
Knowing how alike our personalities are, I try my hardest to respond to your needs as I would like others to respond to my own. I can’t just give in to your every desire to be independent, but I can allow a little more breathing room for you to explore. I can give you every chance to be like your brother, but then be there to scoop you up when you tumble and give you all the kisses to wipe those tears away. I can be there to encourage you to try again.
Your “My do it” attitude will be one of your defining traits. Your independence will make your stronger, but don’t forget that we are there when you need us – your dad, brother, and I. We are there to be your cheer squad, your support system, your place to turn to when you do need help.
There’s nothing quite like a strong, independent female. The world needs more of us. I can’t wait to see what you do with it.
Love,
Your “My do it” Mama