If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t think this pandemic would last past March. I certainly didn’t think it would last well into April, and it completely blows my mind that we are still in the thick of it well into June with no real end in sight.
Some may find this terrifying. Some may think it’s overblown. Quite honestly, I don’t have any judgement for whatever camp you fall into or if you fall somewhere in the middle. I know there are a lot of opinions swirling around out there and it’s so easy to get lost in all the information. It’s even easier to find opinions that seem to appear as facts and become misguided in a variety of information.
As my best friend put it, we as parents are suddenly in charge of making all these decisions for ourselves and our kids but are we really qualified to be making them? The vast majority of us don’t have medical or epidemiology backgrounds. And even with that, so much is unknown about this virus and the information is constantly changing. What was unnecessary back in March is suddenly required or vice versa.
But one thing is for certain – no matter what you believe or what set of rules you follow in your household during these times, going out into public spaces with your kids, you will encounter a vast array of the choices individuals have made on how they are handling the virus.
With that in mind, it’s important to find ways to help our children understand and adapt to these ever changing times.
The first time we took our kids out from isolation and back into public areas, our outgoing, fun-loving son cried in fear and tried to climb up our legs and get on our backs. He was around people he had known his whole life, some of his close friends who he used to play with at school. I feared that he was suddenly afraid of people, and that he had fears that he would get deathly ill from being around others.
The next time we went out we met my best friend and her kids – also kids he’s known his whole life – at a park for a walk. He was excited and showed no fear, including towards strangers we passed on the pathways.
The third time was when I realized his fear. We met my best friend and her kids at the zoo. This time, however, they were wearing masks. He whimpered and hid behind me. He didn’t want to get too close to his friends. It was as if he couldn’t recognize them.
To some extent, this surprised me. We had practiced wearing masks, including the little made-for-them ones my mom made for them. Little Mister and Little Miss have seen me wearing my mask around as I’ve been working throughout all of this and have worn a mask. And yet that didn’t seem to make a difference. Suddenly, when a mask is worn, everyone is a scary stranger and you can no longer easily tell if someone is happy or mad.
Come this summer and into the fall when kids start to return to school, handling situations like these is going to become more and more common. Not only will their friends be wearing masks, keeping their distance, and having more virtual playdates and phone calls, but they will also be doing these things. It is our job as parents to help our kiddos feel secure in this ever-changing world.
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a set of resources to help with the variety of social interactions and societal norms they will encounter.
Masks
There are multiple parts to this. Not just seeing strangers wearing masks, but also themselves and people they know wearing masks. When they may seem okay seeing their waiter wearing a mask when they come to their table, they may hide in fear to a close friend who walks up in a mask. Why is someone they know hiding from them? And what can seem like the ultimate task for some parents – getting little ones to wear a mask themselves!
Helping Kids Get Used to Masks from KidsHealth – This article does a wonderful job identifying the multitude of emotions kids may feel towards masks and how to help them get adjusted to wearing a mask based on those emotions. Additionally, it approaches the need to wear a mask during a doctor’s visit. I love all the different tips and tricks they have listed – you can try all the ideas and see which seems to work best with your kids!
Wear a Mask like the Wild Kratts by PBS Kids – Super short and sweet but if your kids are fans of the Wild Kratts like my Little Mister is, this is an awesome way to make masks more familiar to them. “Activate mask power!”
Wearing a Mask can Help Stop the Spread of Germs by Meet the Helpers – A brief explanation of the function of masks in a way that little ones can easily understand.
Social Distancing
From getting to see grandparents, postponing travel plans, to virtual play dates with friends, there are all kinds of social distancing in place to try to prevent the spread of the virus. Kids may wonder why they only get to see their friends through a computer screen or when the next time will be that they get to go to the park. Even so much as sharing toys can be off limits. Helping little ones adjust to this new, hopefully temporary, normal can help them feel secure and that their friends can still visit with them, just in a different environment – the virtual one!
How to Talk to Your Kids about Coronavirus by PBS Kids – While not social distancing specific, this post does address several pieces about the coronavirus including how social distancing can help make us “germ busters!” There are also links to videos that you can show your kids about germs, being sick and doctors, and how to properly sneeze or wash hands.
What is Social Distancing by Cincinnati Children’s – This is a brief explanation on what social distancing is. It does not go into specifics as to why we are social distancing, just names a couple of examples of actions we can take to social distance.
Explaining Social Distancing by Meet the Helpers – Meet the Helpers have put out a couple of great videos that explain why we are doing certain things during this time. This video in particular does a good job of briefly explaining how germs spread.
Elmo’s Playdate by Sesame Street – Back in April, Sesame Street did an amazing episode called Elmo’s Playdate that was set up like a series of Facetime calls between Elmo and his friends. I love that it shows examples of things kids can do while having a virtual play date as well as gave a couple of examples of why some adults may be going out and about. The version through the link was aired on Cartoon Network.
Social Distance Song by Pinkfong Songs for Children – Baby Shark is still incredibly popular with little ones. This fun song by the same people who brought you Baby Shark as more than a catchy campfire song have put out this song about social distancing and 5 steps kids can do to help. I think it appeals because it has characters kids love, even if it doesn’t explain much behind it. At least kids may end the song thinking social distancing is just a little bit cooler.
Calming Techniques
Through all of this, tensions can be high and we can be stressed. It can be incredibly easy to allow that stress to transfer to how we interact with all our little ones as well as their ability to read our emotions from us. How we interpret and react to situations helps provide them with information on how they should react. Are we calm or tense? Do we seem afraid or are we confident? Are we getting angry easier or are we trying to go with the flow? Our ability to identify and recognize our emotions as well as to acknowledge them to our kids will help them to better process their emotions and how they feel about our changing world. It is okay to feel every emotion and to be scared or angry sometimes. It’s ok to not have all the answers to all of their questions. It is ok to occasionally be stressed or to have trouble going with the flow. But when we do have those scary or angry feelings, it’s good to have a couple of tools in the toolbox to help us calm and relax.
How to Deal with Anxiety & Feel Better by Cosmic Kids Yoga – Towards the beginning of the pandemic, Jaime from Cosmic Kids Yoga released a video talking about what kids may be feeling during this time and gave a few tips to help. I will admit that watching it helped me as much (or more) than it helped my little ones.
Zen Den Videos by Cosmic Kids Yoga – These are a series of videos to promote mindfulness. Each video presents a different topic such as attentiveness, how to separate from our emotions, and how our brains process happiness.
Peace Out Videos by Cosmic Kids Yoga – This series of guided relaxations are written and narrated by Jaime and an excellent way to practice relaxation and to help calm. Just listening to her voice can be calming!
50 Calm Down Ideas by GoZen! – This is a really comprehensive list of ideas to help you calm and ease stress and anxiety. Not all will help everybody, there may be just a couple that work best. One of the best things that I discovered during this time of quarantine was to recognize my children’s way to destress. My Little Mister uses music when he is starting to feel anxious. Sometimes he will sing a song over and over and over. But when a song seems to come out of nowhere and he just starts singing, it could be a sign that he is feeling some anxiety. Finding what your little one does to help with their anxiety or helping them discover it can be one of the most helpful things you do for them during this time.
Calm App – One of the first things I did since the pandemic, per recommendation from other moms and counselors, was to download the Calm app from the app store. It does have a cost associated with it, but the stories and music have been excellent and are well worth the cost. Sometimes being able to play some soothing music helps to clear my mind of any lingering anxiety.
I wish I had an answer for what our future holds. To say that this pandemic is wreaking havoc on my type-A personality is an understatement. Whether you are in an area that needs to wear a mask more frequently or stay home more often than not or you live in an area where the virus isn’t as high of a concern, understanding the things that so many in our world are going through will bring compassion and help ease anxiety when the unknown is encountered.